White Freesia Floral Bloom - Flower Portrait - Brenda Landrum Creative Studio Castle Pines, Colorado

May Notes

May 10, 2021

I am so looking forward to summer. I’m ready to work in my backyard planting whatever I can to start making what is just bare ground into something more beautiful. I’m also ready for more lazy days of summer. Summer days seem to go by slower and are more relaxed. Guess that is because the days are longer and we’re not on a schedule for school.

I realized today that I have not been processing the new images I have taken as black and whites. This is something that I typically always do but have not been doing in 2021. Well that’s not 100% true because I did do some black and whites for the Freesia bloom but the colors were what I kept focusing on (I never shared the bw’s on social). So today I went through and did some black and white edits and now I’m wondering why I wasn’t doing it. I LOVE BLACK AND WHITE!! Also my daughter keeps asking me why I’m only shooting with white backgrounds. She thinks I need to use some black backgrounds and she’s right. I have been drawn to very crisp white backgrounds because I love how fresh it feels along with it being very relaxing for the eyes. It creates a soft look that I guess I’m focused on lately. But she’s challenging me so I need to break out the black and take some dark moody shots, too!

April I struggled a bit … again. Man this creative artist journey is a rollercoaster. I battle myself constantly and I am continuing to recognize my triggers, one trigger is my husbands job. His career has been a hard fight for many years. We have found ourselves in some difficult situations that challenge our fears head on and we keep having to deal with those fears. If you go look through my April social posts you will see I was struggling. Overwhelm, wondering if God was going to move us again, mentioning the thorn that God refuses to remove. When my triggers are tripped I start to question everything I am doing. Am I suppose to be doing the things I’m doing? What if I’m not on the right path? Did I make the wrong decision? Who am I? It’s such a strange process that I go into. The only thing that grounds me is my faith and I feel that these fears are something God is making me deal with. They hold me back, they paralyze me from confidently being who He’s made me to be. A Mother and Wife devoted to taking care of my family and home because it brings me joy but also a photographer and creative who finds joy in the little creations of nature and the ability to use my skills/talents to support other amazing women push forward in their businesses. Is it how I want it to look? Not exactly but if I just keep being me and stop letting fear derail me then maybe it will.

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